Stepping into autumn in Wyoming, we invite you on a journey through shifting weather patterns and riveting sporting events. Experience the breathtaking beauty of fall and the exhilaration of a thrilling win by the Wyoming Cowboys. But that's not all - we're also delving deep into emotional terrain. We're talking disappointment, rejection, and the valuable lessons they carry. With Marcy, we’ll uncover the truth about these experiences and learn how to turn the tables to make disappointment a learning curve rather than a setback.
We're also stepping back in time, venturing into the life of Ethel Waxham Love, a remarkable woman who left an indelible mark on Wyoming's history. From her humble beginnings in Illinois to her adventures in Wyoming, we chronicle her remarkable journey. We'll follow her from teaching in the harsh winter months, to meeting her husband and their subsequent move to a sheep ranch at Muscrat Creek. The trials they battled and their tenacity is a testament to the human spirit. Stay tuned for an episode charged with emotion, resilience, and the power of the human spirit in overcoming adversity.
Stepping into autumn in Wyoming, we invite you on a journey through shifting weather patterns and riveting sporting events. Experience the breathtaking beauty of fall and the exhilaration of a thrilling win by the Wyoming Cowboys. But that's not all - we're also delving deep into emotional terrain. We're talking disappointment, rejection, and the valuable lessons they carry. With Marcy, we’ll uncover the truth about these experiences and learn how to turn the tables to make disappointment a learning curve rather than a setback.
We're also stepping back in time, venturing into the life of Ethel Waxham Love, a remarkable woman who left an indelible mark on Wyoming's history. From her humble beginnings in Illinois to her adventures in Wyoming, we chronicle her remarkable journey. We'll follow her from teaching in the harsh winter months, to meeting her husband and their subsequent move to a sheep ranch at Muscrat Creek. The trials they battled and their tenacity is a testament to the human spirit. Stay tuned for an episode charged with emotion, resilience, and the power of the human spirit in overcoming adversity.
Good morning and welcome to let's Talk Wyoming. I'm Mark Hamilton, your host, and today we'll be taking a look at our Wyoming weather. We'll be looking at the Wyoming cowboys. We'll have our mental health moment. Also, we'll look at life on muskrat creek. Thanks for joining us today and we hope you enjoy the show.
Mark:We'll be looking at the Wyoming weather on the 27th of September. The month is just about over. Sunday will be the first day of October. The year is really going by quickly. We've had a couple of cool mornings. We got down to 35 last Sunday morning. That's the lowest temperature I've seen. We've warmed up a little bit this week, actually just fall weather. It just cools down quicker. Of course it's getting darker earlier but it's beautiful out there. A little wind today blowing through the area Trying stuff up a little bit. Fall is just gorgeous here in the state of Wyoming at a good time to come visit. But forecast right now looks like more of the same Just Wyoming fall weather. Taking a look at Wyoming sports here on the 27th day of September Wyoming Cowboys again after dropping that game against the University of Texas down in Austin, texas, that was a close game.
Mark:It ended up being 31 to 20. But it was tied 10 to 10. After the third quarter Cowboys came home and played Appalachian State, for any football fan knows they have a really good program there. They came into Laramie and dominated the full game. It was unbelievable the way they took control of the game. But unfortunately they kicked field goals they did get. Their only touchdown was on a turnover on the Cowboys. Similar to the Cowboys in the start of the game, their lone short field to the Lollett touchdown was off a turnover from Appalachian State. So it went into the third quarter, into fourth 19-7. It looked pretty grim for the Cowboys. I was thinking this thing was going to be over. Then suddenly Harrison Whaley, their new running back from Northern Illinois, that broke off the 65 yard I think it was 65, maybe 62 yard touchdown run against Texas. He suddenly, like lightning, he was gone and 75 yards later it was a touchdown. So it was 19 to 14. Appalachian State got the ball back, drove down the field and was going to put a field goal out and if that field goal would have been successful they would have been up 22 to 14. Probably might have iced the game and they lined up for the field goal and guess what? The Wyoming Cowboys blocked that and that ball was recovered and returned for a touchdown. Now, suddenly the Cowboys the life in the stadium was just unbelievable and they did go for the two point conversion and they were successful. So suddenly they were completely out of it and now they had a lead in the game and 22 to 19.
Mark:So they kicked off to Appalachian State. And you're thinking, maybe this time we might stop them. Well, unfortunately not. They drove the length of the field and it was looking like of anything. They were going to kick a tying field goal and send it to overtime and even to the point they got down by the goal line and it was like man, they're going to score here. This is going to be a heartbreaker.
Mark:But the Appalachian State quarterback had been pretty salty the whole game. He threw up a pass that he knows he shouldn't have and Wyoming intercepted it and they came away with a victory and it was one of the strangest games you'll ever watch. Yeah, you just saw the action. You said there's no way the Cowboys could win. But they found a way. Appalachian State just dominated the statistics. They had the ball, their yards, the per carry, just everything was just in favor of Appalachian State. The Cowboys just did what they had to do at the right time and won it.
Mark:So a little bit of that cowboy magic. They're on the road. This week they take on New Mexico down in Albuquerque. Falling week is another big game, as they have Fresno State coming in, who's probably one of their main rivals right now at the top of the conference. So I guess we found a Things out. These Cowboys definitely have something magic going on. Also they are. I am hoping we can continue this streak. They are just Unbelievable what they're doing right now and it's got everybody here in the state of Wyoming going. And so again, as they Continue to win, people will get on that cowboy train and we'll see where it goes. Today we have Marcy back on that. We missed you for a month, marcy, and we're gonna talk about mental health and what do you have for us here for the month of October?
Marcy:Hey, mark, you know I I took a little time to recharge because I think that's important for our mental health, but I'm glad to be back today. I want to talk about disappointment. You know this is such a universal thing We've all been through. You know we've we've maybe didn't get the job we applied for. You ask the person out on the date and they reject you. Maybe you aren't included in plans with your friends for that trip. You don't make the football team. There's so many parts of our lives that have Disappointments, so I thought this would be a good place to start today.
Mark:All right, sounds good. What are some examples of Disappointments and what we can do, marcy?
Marcy:So with disappointment. I think there's a few different ways to reframe and redefine disappointment so we can make Disappointing a venture situation, actually have meaning and direct us and project us into maybe a different part of our life. I often like to tell people rejection is only Redirection, so it's. It's showing you that you're brave enough to try and that Maybe that isn't for you and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It's just not for you right now or maybe it's directing you to something better. So I think trying to find meaning and disappointments is really the key to getting over them with grace.
Mark:Okay, sounds good. What else, marcy?
Marcy:So I like to tell you today, mark, don't Globalize disappointment. So globalizing disappointment is, let's just say, you asked someone to be your partner and they say no. So you take that situation and you you kind of project it onto all Situations in your life. So I would, for example, I'd say, you know, oh, you don't our relationship with me. This means that no one wants a relationship with me. I'll never be in a relationship. I'm gonna live the rest of my life and old made and adopt the hundred cats.
Marcy:So it's allowing yourself to take one Rejection and project it on to everything in your life. And you know it might kind of feel good in that and that moment to kind of vent, and you know it kind of Allows us to kind of feel our emotions, but to remind you that that's not really Realistic. You know I mean, how many times in our past have we been rejected? But we end up getting a different job, meeting a different person. So making sure we're not wallowing in that rejection, but remind yourself that didn't work out this time doesn't mean it won't work out in the future or maybe with a different person. So the past isn't an indicator of our future.
Mark:Okay, what? What are some other things that we need to do?
Marcy:So I don't know about you, mark, but sometimes I like to personalize disappointment, so this means that we're gonna make it so bigger than it deserves to be. So personalization sounds like if I don't get what I want, it means I'm not good enough and I don't deserve it. When you over overly personalize something, you're making it Um affect you in a way that it really shouldn't. So let's, let's keep the dating example. Let's say you go on a date. You think it went great. You ask them on the second date and they say no. And then you start to say, well, this means I'm a bad person. This means no one likes me. Well, they don't know you like. You spent maybe 30 minutes an hour with a stranger. So they really don't know you as a person. They just know maybe, hey, my preferences don't match this person. So it's making sure that we're not taking something and making it relate to us in a way that's that's deeper than it needs to be.
Mark:Okay, you know they're talking about disappointment. Aren't there some really famous people that it had a lot of disappointment when they first started out and they stuck with it and and it led them to bigger and Greater things.
Marcy:Yeah, mark. So this is part of you know, using that disappointment. It's called learning from disappointment. So success often is built on failure. Some of the most successful people we've seen in the world. They took decades of hard work and persistence. For example, michael Jordan didn't make his high school basketball team. The Beatles were rejected by three different record companies before they were signed. Chicken Soup for the Soul Book was rejected by 123 publishers before it was finally picked up and it sold over 80 million copies. There's thousands more stories like this. So you know, sometimes we just need that rejection to maybe step back and say, hey, did I approach this right? What can I adjust? Maybe, hey, this isn't the job for me, but here's the job over here that I'm going to try to apply for. Does that make sense, mark?
Mark:It certainly does, and I think the other message, I think, is not to give up and we've got to dream and stick with it. I mean, michael Jordan, I guess, could have went out for baseball, or different examples of those authors, or however they responded, but they stuck it out and continued on, even though there was originally rejection. They hung with it and it led to good things.
Marcy:Yeah. And then I also like to reframe with my clients that rejection isn't always bad. I know we, you know in our society we want to be any criticism or saying no, like often people internalize it and think it's so terrible and assume that it makes them bad. But it doesn't. You know rejection and how we take it every day is how the difference between the winners and losers you know, people, you have to take that. That. You know you're brave enough to try.
Marcy:You maybe don't have the skills today, but if you continue working, if you continue continue, you know bettering yourself that there might be a yes down the road. And you know every no is leading you to a yes or something Like. My favorite saying is if not this, then something better, because often that continued effort and work you're going to learn lessons, like if you get rejected, let's say, because you don't have enough skills, or you're going to learn hey, next time I do this, I need to do XYZ, it's just going to give you more experience. So when you try again, you're starting from experience instead of starting from the beginning.
Mark:All right, that is good stuff. I think it can apply to all of us. I kind of go back to that about life not being fair and but something doesn't happen, but you got to get back up and keep at at it, and so I guess that rejection may not seem fair to you at times, but it can also lead to you pushing yourself and and doing something different or something better.
Marcy:Yeah, you know, like I think too it's, it's, you know, maybe you don't make that team but you decide, hey, I'm really good at this musical instrument or I'm really good at debate, and it projects you into a job. That leads to a hobby, that leads to a job that leads to meeting, meeting new, different kinds of people. So we don't know the whole trajectory of our lives, but we know that the way that you face each no and you take it with grace and respect and you move forward and you just kind of dust yourself off, it's the difference between people that can handle those loopholes or the valleys of life and opposed to people that become bitter and angry about things Because you know we've all. It never feels good, but I think that's part of kind of learning from something and then eventually becoming successful and you can look back at all those, those rejections, with kind of a smile on your face of all the lessons you learned.
Mark:Right, how about? How about with kids and their upbringing and stuff? I think that's a good time for a parent to start, you know, preaching that lesson to kids about continuing to try. Sometimes you might not get that grade or get what you want, but continue on. I think that's important At an early age to set that in an example and so that they have that to help them in their future life.
Marcy:Well, mark, I think sometimes, too sometimes, we aren't ready for things. Maybe you didn't get that promotion because you haven't proven yourself yet. Maybe you, you know, aren't ready for that, that marriage. There's things that maybe, looking back, we think we're ready for, but we need to keep persisting and keep learning and, you know, using that as another stepping stone to that goal.
Mark:All right, that's really good, marcy. Anything else for us today?
Marcy:No, that's all today, Mark. Thank you.
Mark:Thanks for coming on board, marcy, and we look forward to the month of November. Have a great October. Today, in our History section, going to wyohistoryorg, as we look at a story from Rebecca Hein, the sticking power of Ethel Waxham Love. It was late May of 1920, the end of one of the worst cold weather seasons in Central Wyoming. Residents called it the Equalizer, because no matter how many sheep, cattle or horses the ranch had the previous October, by the end of that winter all felt that their herds had been devastated. This is one of the hardest periods in the life of Ethel Waxham Love. She was 37 and the ordeal turned her hair white.
Mark:Ethel Waxham was born in Rockford, illinois, august 11th of 1882. The second daughter of Dr Frank E Waxman and Lizzie Leach Waxman, ethel and her two sisters, vera and Faith, first to school at Hyde Park School in Chicago. Lizzie suffered from either a consumption or asthma and in late 1880s the family moved to Denver. Her husband, a lung and throat specialist, got the high altitude and dry air would benefit her. However, she died in 1898. Dr Waxham then married Alice Wells and the couple had one child, ruth and Dora, in 1901, after graduating from East High School in Denver in 1901. After graduating from East High School in Denver, ethel rolled in Wesley College in Wesley, massachusetts, studying classical literature, greek, french, german and Latin. Before graduating in 1905, she earned one of Wesley's first five beta capokese.
Mark:Ethel returned to Denver in the summer of 1905, working in her father's medical office. In October she took a job teaching at the Twin Creek School about 30 miles south of Lander-Wilming. She boarded at the Red Bluff Ranch home of the Gardner and Mary Mills whose two sons and two daughters attended the school. School terms were held during the coldest months, leaving children available to help with farm and ranch work in late spring, summer and early fall. Ethel had seven students aged 7 to 15 or older, one of the many journal entries Ethel wrote on November 15,. Color of the white hills against the pale blue sky is the most exquisite in the world. The cedars are gray with snow, the sagebrush white clumps of crystal. Where, a long way off, the sun torches the top of the snow covered hills. Fair shines a streak of silver. Her attachment to Wyoming had begun, but she had no illusions. It is a cruel country as well as a beautiful one. After every severe storm we hear of people being lost. The twinkrick term ended in April of 1906, and though Ethel had never taught there again, she corresponded with Mary Mills and with the area sheep rancher John Love, whom she had met at the Mills home.
Mark:She was born in Wisconsin of Scottish parents and, after her mother died, raised and educated in Scotland for the first part of her childhood until his father also died and returned to Wisconsin where he was raised by relatives Today and their acquaintance love. Her post to Ethel and she declined, but they became good friends and he continued to pursue her via their letters. He was 14 years older than she was. Ethel returned to Denver and enrolled at the University of Colorado at Boulder, learning her master's degree in literature in May of 1907. That September she accepted a teaching job teaching Latin at Kemper Hall at Angelic Girls School in Kenosha, wisconsin. On October 12, she described in her journal how the teachers were paid. The mother superior we had discovered considers any reference to money exceedingly indelicate. Our salaries, which must never be spoken of or asked for, are doled out to us when she sees fit and in what proportion she places. A maid comes about solemnly with a silver tray covered with a napkin. Upon this are little sealed notes within money, but no one knows when these donations may come.
Mark:After one academic year at Kemper Hall, ethel again returned to Denver in June of 1908 and cared for her father and her half-sister Ruth. Dr Waxman had divorced Ruth's mother in 1907 for nearly ruining the family with stock market speculation. November of 1909, ethel accepted a teaching job at Central High School in Pueblo, colorado, which I love, having followed the trials and aggravations I thought I'd already faced while teaching vote during December. I am indeed sorry to know that you are at once more teaching. Typically his letters included news about his ranch. I have lots to worry about here and I'm glad that you are not here to share my worry. The past 12 days have been the hardest on livestock I'd ever seen on the range at this season of the year. The snow is deep and the weather has been bitterly cold 30 degrees below zero and lower part of the time. The tide turned and love's courtship. On January 1st 1910, when Ethel wrote Suppose that you lost everything that you have and a little more, and suppose for the best reason in the world, I want you to ask me to say yes. What would you do? John had been a long, persistent effort, including one short stretch in her earlier correspondence when he began signing his letters, loves and kisses, until she reproved him.
Mark:Ethel Flaxman and John Love were married at her father's home on June 20th 1910, after an attempted honeymoon trip to Yellowstone Park, about which little is known except that they didn't get there. The couple settled in their sheep ranch at Muscrat Creek, about 15 miles south of present-day Moneta, Wyoming, and right about at the Geological Center of Wyoming. The country there is very dry. We learn of their experiences through Ethel's journal entries, chapters for her memoirs, her correspondence and written memoirs of David, their second son. The informal title of the memoir was Life on the Rat. Rat was short for Muscrat Creek. About these early days on the ranch Ethel wrote. The complete emptiness of the country, treeless from horizon to horizon, gave me a deeper respect for the men who could endure and make use of the range.
Mark:During their first summer the loves took many horseback rides over the countryside and also spent many hours working to improve the interior of the ranch house. Ethel's father died approximately September 4th. Ethel's father died on September 4th 1911,. In early December Ethel traveled to Denver for the birth of her first child, he speculated. That month John stayed on the ranch battling a harsh winter. Helen Galloway Love was born December 30th 1911.
Mark:Ethel stayed in Denver with her sister, faith, until late March when she returned to Wyoming with a new baby. During that same period, severe winter storms with 50 to 100 mile an hour winds killed 2,500 of Love's sheep. By the time the winter ended, the herd was decimated. In June of 1912, muscrit Creek flooded the house, from mattresses to furniture, to books, food and clothing. Storage and cleanup continued for months.
Mark:Not long after the flood, bankers came from Lander and stayed a few days because the previous year John Love had been forced to borrow money to cover his payroll and other expenses for the coming year. In 1911, his assets, including equipment and livestock, totaled about $30,400. The banker called in alone, taking everything on the ranch. But the buildings Keep wagon in which the couple had honeymoon and some disabled large wagons. They missed if you had a livestock that remained on the range, far out of sight. John offered to release Ethel from her marriage but she declined. One ranch hand remained working without pay.
Mark:John, who had already built one dam on Muscrit Creek, decided to finish a much larger dam. He began in 1909. With two reservoirs he hoped to irrigate crops he wouldn't have been able to grow otherwise Cran, corn, potatoes and alfalfa. He and their devoted hand, george, finished the dam early summer of 1913, entirely on horse power and manpower. The volume of earth and rock used during the first stage of construction was estimated at a million cubic feet. John and Ethel's second child, john David Love, was born in Riverton while on April 17th of 1913. About six months after Allen's birth, a few months later a severe hail storm so strained the big dam that it broke and flooded, rowing most of the crops. Ethel wrote stronger than I am the sun and the storm, the thunder that rends the trees and the glen salvage the roar of night prowling bees. Fierce am I in forest and thin.
Mark:During this period, love worked as a sheepherder for her neighbor Jacob Bellfelder for about two years and was away from home much of the time. He brought home motherless lambs and these became the nucleus of a new flock, although he never again attempted to build a large herd. With the $1587 Ethel inherited from her father couple purchased some cattle, a crossbreed of short horned herford. Ethel also began raising chickens and selling eggs, sometimes the family's only source of cash. By early September of 1915, their income apparently improved enough for Ethel to travel to Denver to visit Faith Vera and her two boys. Four months later, in January of 1916, john Love could hire a few hands.
Mark:However, their financial progress did not mean Ethel's life was free of harrowing experiences. Some of the Bellfelder's hired men bought a pack of bloodhounds from one of the sheep camps to the love ranch for a run. Somehow two were left behind when the others were collected to return to the camp. These hounds chased Allen and David, then five and four, into the house, ethel wrote. The hounds leaped furiously at the kitchen windows high above the ground. They shot at the glass with the small panes. They only had time to snatch a heavy iron frying pan from the stove base. She beat them back and they did not get into the house. After, 1917 brought cars, although the loves didn't have one. Finances meanwhile continued stable and improving.
Mark:In October of 1919, storms brought a snow and mud to the Parch Range, which had seen a hot, dry summer. In early December John contracted the Spanish influenza and sweeping the state and the nation. By mid-month he decided to travel to Riverton, 50 miles away, for treatment by the doctor who could do nothing for him, sent him home. He and David became quite ill. All the chores fell to Ethel and Allen.
Mark:Eight years old Ethel was then suffering from back pain. In an essay, the Equalizer, she wrote In a numbing cold. It took him five hours a day to bring in fuel, carry water and feed the chickens and to put out hay and cotton seed cake for the cattle and horses that came crowding about the corrals to be fed. John kept them from me with a stick. John became delirious. All his life he had chanted Scottish poetry and ballads and as the winter wore on, the recitations became more and more focused on death. David recalls his own months of illness, along with the things his mother told him much later about that winter, which seemed endless.
Mark:At the end of exhaustion, mother wondered at times if she was losing her mind to the isolation, the sickness of her loved ones, the cattle dying, vicious storms and the cruelty of the land. Totally absent, were laughter. Encouraging words and hope. She reminded herself that three other lives depended on her and for her sake she must persevere. Then the bull got into the grainery where the only remaining supply of grain and bran were stored for the chickens and other animals. Snatching up an old broom, ethel beat the bull, maddened it, stopped eating and lowered its horns. Then Ethel realized what would have happened to the rest of her family if they had killed her. Alan would walk 15 miles for the nearest help and almost certainly die in the storm. The ambulance would die within a few days of cold and starvation. Without a panicking she fell calm and prayed for help, no longer beating the bull. Instead she flicked the broom across its eyes. The bull blinked, appearing confused and bewildered. Ethel continued to flick the broom, annoying but not angering the bull. When the floorboard broke beneath its feet, it fled the grainery. After surviving this battle, ethel knew she'd get through the rest of the winter.
Mark:In March John and David began to recover. Alan spent hours reading to David and helping him build structures with Alan's director set. John crooned love songs and memorized Scottish jokes. In a small green booklet Ethel wrote Years had thrown his cloak away of cold, of tempest and of rain. In January of 1922, alan slammed into a barbed wire fence While he and David were sledding. His face was badly cut. John was gone for the day digging coal, so Ethel could not take Alan to the heist doctor in Riverton. Carefully she stitched up Alan's deep cuts without anesthetic. This was surely more difficult for Ethel in the past episodes in which she'd amputated a cowboy's crushed finger or sewn up a man's face kicked to pieces by a horse.
Mark:None of the subsequent years on the ranch was as bad as the year of the equalizer, but many times the family was short of money due to another severe winter or, once, the loss of their savings in 1924, failure of the Shoshone Bank. Ethel sometimes sold more than a thousand eggs in a month and John and the boys trapped coyotes and other small animals for pelts that they could sell. The cattle and the sheepherd grew and shrank according to the weather. What must have been one of the best love family stories. Alan and David killed a rattlesnake, five foot nine inches long in July of 1923. They skinned it and with the meat Ethel prepared a chicken-like dish for supper. They had a guess that evening Bill was a pardoned, convicted murderer who had taken a nearby homestead. Ethel and John privately warned the boys not to refer to the meat, of course, as rattlesnake because Bill, like many cowboys, probably had a phobia about snakes. But during the meal Alan and David gradually forgot this. Full of their exploits of the day, they began slipping in more and more comments about snakes, until one of them mentioned that some people considered rattlesnake meat delicious. Bill banged the table with his fist. By God, if anybody ever gave me snake meat I'd kill them In frozen silence. Ethel passed Bill the serving dish with a smile. More chicken bill.
Mark:Elizabeth Love was born on November 16th of 1924 in Riverton. Ethel was 42. In June of 1925, both boys passed the exam and allowed them to attend high school in Lander at age 12 and 13. Ethel took a house in Lander and, with Phoebe, lived there caring for their children. For the next two years John stayed at the ranch but visited his family frequently. When David and Alan began attending the University Prep School in Laramie, ethel and Phoebe returned to the ranch.
Mark:The couple stayed on the ranch until 1947, with Ethel living in Casper. During the winters. Phoebe went to school there. After a few winters in Arizona, john and Ethel moved in with David's family in Laramie. But Ethel felt her greatest achievement were with her children, who all got advanced degrees and went on to lead successful professional lives in engineering, geology and environmental science. Once the children were grown and left home, ethel served as the first president of the Wyoming chapter of the American Association of University Women, was active in the DAR and many book groups and writing classes of the University of Wyoming. As one of the many others letters from 1950 noted likes Barbara Love, ethel had a meeting in Laramie, cheyenne or Denver there every day of the week.
Mark:John died in 1950. Ethel in 1959. Just for the ranch, he stayed with the family until 2012. This late date itself testifies to all the hard work and tenacity that Ethel, her husband and her children had poured into it. Just another outstanding story Knowing that area, the Manita area, and south around that whole area, it is definitely the place that would be very hard to live in. Thanks for joining us today and we hope you enjoy our podcast. Just through the code of the west, we ride for the brand and we ride for Wyoming. Thank you you.